Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Did your break up hit you or your ex the hardest?! All answers are for ground-breaking research...
Break-ups are an inevitable part of human life. That folks, is a fact, and something that the majority of us have experienced. For all sorts of not-so-crazy reasons, relationships between two people who 'love each other so f*cking much' will end, and it will often turn your whole world into a temporary chaos; a world in which breaking down in the middle of Topshop, eating 14 slices of bbq pizza in one sitting, and spending 3 nights of every week drunk texting in the bathroom is suddenly actually acceptable. (The thought of this life outside of the break-up context sounds rather appealing to me...)
Over the past couple of months, there is one crucial thing that I have realised about break-ups. No matter how 'mutual' the decision to part ways may have been, it is always 10x worse for one party. In break up No.1, despite the fact it was my decision to end it, it was little old me that found myself inconsolable. My first ex boyfriend, was, for one blissful year and a half, my fairytale romance, and I loved him so much that I bought him the 'Ghostbusters' PS3 game, and happily let him play it for one whole summer. Evidently, I have changed throughout my transition into womanhood, as these days I'd happily snap in half any game that denied me adequate levels of attention. Janine Butcher isn't a patch on me, I tell you.
Moving on into a life without ex boyfriend No.1 was a process that practically took me the whole length of our relationship, and I have a cringeworthy diary full of miserable ramblings to prove it. (Believe me, I can barely believe it was actually me who wrote all this rubbish!) He, on the other hand, got into another long term relationship just three months after everything between us ended, and although I never resented him for it (the girl's a beaut, and is now one of my best friends!), I could never understand how he moved on so quickly. That is, until now, 4 months after my break up with ex boyfriend No.2, where I am the one on the opposite end of the see-saw!
As few of you are probably aware (until you get to the end of this sentence), I am an aspiring novelist, and I am partway through finishing my very first book. In order to finish it, I need to actually draft the last few chapters, stop getting distracted by winking scotch eggs, go through the whole thing with a fine tooth comb, realise it's ridiculously awful, cry into a packet of Quavers, and start it all again. (It probably isn't ridiculously awful, but after 3 sluggish years of novel planning, it does stress me out for 15 minutes of every day.)
Towards the front end of the book (aka, the better end of the book), the break up of a 3 year relationship occurs, and I guess I'm on the hunt for a little bit of inspiration. At the moment, I've kept it fairly 'mutual', however I'm pretty sure, judging on my expert experience of 2 whole relationships, that this isn't an accurate reflection of every day life, and if there's one thing my novel has to be, it's honest!
Therefore, if you have a spare 2 minutes, please could you take a moment to contemplate the break ups you've been involved with in your own life, and let me know who it hit hardest, you, or your ex? (If your Google profile/blog doesn't indicate your gender, please let me know who is who, or your help will quite possibly be invalid!)
I don't need any juicy details, unless of course you did something completely wild post break up and chopped off his willy wonka or something similar...
And as for me, I will be bringing you some excellent posts relating to the oh-so-wonderful things I have learnt throughout my own experience! Hardy ha, excellent? Experience? Get it?!
Ta very much for your help, you beautiful creature!
PS: Wish I'd never said seesaw. I now have a desperate urge to go on one!