Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Bridesmaid Diaries- The adventure begins...
Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamt about being a bridesmaid. Admittedly, in the days I'd spend making Barbie cheat on Ken with Action man, my bridesmaid dream had a more paramount position in my life, however even in recent months, I've found myself gazing at 'Don't tell the bride', and lusting over wedding dresses, venues, wild hen nights, and beautiful ceremonies.
I can completely confirm that I am a) in no position to be a bride, and b) not holding any desires to get married until I'm at least 27 (and actually with someone, of course), therefore being a bridesmaid certainly seems like the perfect way to become fully immersed in the wedding spirit, without actually being the girl trying to act sober whilst taking her vows.
A couple of days ago, over a chinwag and a bottle of vino, one of my best friends', Kirst, who has very recently gotten engaged, sent the big 'B' word flying my way. She asked me to be her bridesmaid, and while it didn't come as a huge shock to me (she has my name tattooed across her finger, for crying out loud!), it was still a fairly euphoric moment in the Kathy B calendar. We hugged, and cried a little, and I quite possibly made an inappropriate joke about her looking like a warthog in her wedding dress to ease the awkwardness of being suddenly emotional. I know, everyone needs a friend like me.
Ever since Kirst popped the question (pardon the pun), I've been pondering what being a bridesmaid actually means, because the fact that my eyes welled up when she asked me told me that it's so much more than just a green light to active participation in a real wedding. I've realised, that while cracking open endless bottles of obligatory wine, smiling profusely, wearing a traditionally ugly dress (lilac, really?!), and bringing genital shaped lollipops to the hen do, may be just some of the duties that feature on my bridesmaid responsibility list, the most important part of the job description is all about being a supportive, caring, helpful, and reliable friend, who will be there to make her laugh when she's stressing (cue more warthog jokes), and comfort her when the first dress she tries on rips beneath the pressure of her juicy derriere.
During the wild pressures of matrimonial havoc, it's inevitable that Kirst will drive me half insane with her excessive wedding talk, and that I will stretch her to breaking point with my endless whinging about her plans to squeeze my love handles into a lilac monstrosity- so not my colour! Added to this, we've all seen the film 'Bridesmaids', and if there's one thing that could put you off being one for life, it's Rudolph's oh-so-classy accident, involving a gorgeous, expensive wedding gown, and the consequences of a few too many platefuls of Brazilian food the night before. It's safe to say, that it's not all going to be matrimonial bliss and 'best of friends', but as far as I'm concerned, we will come out laughing the other end, and if it's really what Kirst wants, I will make sure I wear the hideous lilac dress, and strike my best 'I look like sh*t but let's pretend otherwise' pose in every single photo.
Kate Chenowyth, author of 'The Bridesmaid Guide', states that the number one rule of being a bridesmaid is to 'accept that for the duration of the engagement, your life will take a backseat to the wedding.'
I think that's a small price to pay for the same girl that slapped me round the face during a post break up meltdown in Matalan, and lets me get away with implying that she has the features of a warthog. She's has also just made one of my childhood dreams come true, and if that means having to hijack her on one of her many days as a wife to fill her in on my own life, then that is what I shall do.
So here's to your adventure Kirst, and here's to documenting our highs, cries, tears and cheers, every step of the way, through my very own Bridesmaid diaries. I love you, and couldn't be happier for you. (*cracks open first bottle of obligatory wine....)