Sunday, 26 February 2012
February 29th, proposals, and looking like an intoxicated horse.
With February 29th fast approaching, I'm sure the majority of you are well aware that 2012 is a leap year. Not only does this mean that people born on the 29th of February can actually celebrate their birthday on the appropriate date this year (yippeee!), it's also, according to a 13th century Queen Marge, the 'acceptable' day for a woman to propose to her man.
Being a 'Christmas isn't Christmas without a turkey' kind of girl, it's safe to say that while I am a fairly unconventional human being 85% of the time, I do still hold some very traditionalist values at heart. While I'm by no means against the idea of a woman popping the question, it's most definitely not something that I would ever consider doing myself, even if the potential hubby-to-be was a Ryan Reynolds lookalike who wore quilted jackets and appreciated my wonky clown collection.
Firstly, I am a lover of chivalry/romance. In an age where men's efforts with women are compromised by incredibly advanced technology (my friend's boyfriend told her he loved her for the first time on Facebook, for crying out loud), and the occasional OTT feminist (don't get me wrong, I'm all for equal legal rights between the sexes, but please don't try and tell me that a man holding a door open for me is a sexist pig), a marriage proposal, if done properly of course, has the potential to be the ultimate in all acts of spontaneous romance, and in my eyes, the surprise of it would be half the fun of getting married. As princessy as it may sound (truth be told I'm about as princessy as Wayne Rooney in a pink dress), I absolutely hate the idea of missing out on that fairytale moment, unless of course, said proposal takes place in the herbs and spices aisle in Sainsburys...
As well as being fairly partial to some good old-fashioned romance, I'd also be absolutely terrified that the man I wanted to spend my life with would go from hubby-to-be to hubby-to-bye within about 3 seconds of my knee hitting the ground in true intoxicated horse fashion. After all, in the words of my fine friend Ross, the role reversal of a marriage proposal from a woman would both 'emasculate and castrate' a very traditional man in one hit, which would easily change/ruin the whole dynamics of a relationship.
As for proposing to a man who bestows no traditional values, I would still by no means be brave enough to risk the hideous embarrassment of being rejected. According to 13th century Queen Marge, any man that refuses a woman's proposal should buy her fabric for a new skirt/dress, and while a consolation prize is always welcome, 13th century Queen Marge, I'm pretty sure that three bottles of vino and a new face would be a far more tempting offer if ever finding myself in such a situation. And even if non-traditional man did say yes, I'd find myself forever wondering whether that was only because he was scared I'd have his balls slaughtered by an angry cow if he'd said no. Me? Alliances with angry cows?! Never...
In the world of Kathy B, proposing to a man would be on par with finding said man prancing round the house in my lacy blacks. Pretty. Bloody. Awkward. I can completely confirm that the only thing wedding-related that I will ever be popping, is the inflatable doll that groom-to-be stumbles home with after his stag night.
I shall leave you with what some of the lovely menfolk in my phonebook had to say on the matter, when I harassed them all via text this afternoon.
'I wouldn't say I'd feel emasculated- I guess it's even cute in a way, but it's still the wrong way round really. I'd say it should still be the guy! I think I would much rather do it properly and be the one doing the proposing!!' Tom, Southampton.
'The guy has to propose! Wouldn't be as romantic if the woman proposed. Has to be a big romantic gesture too!' Jon, Portsmouth.
'In this day and age of equal rights I don't think it has to be an issue.' Ron, Brighton.
'I think women think it's traditional for men to propose. But if a woman wants to express her love in marriage then there's nothing wrong with her proposing.' Joe, Brighton.
'Aw Kath, I know you're secretly in love with me and desperate to be my wife, but I couldn't possibly decide whether a woman proposing would be a good or bad thing until I'd seen whether she looks any good naked'. Serial pain in the ass, Eastbourne.
What do you folks think of the women proposal debate? Would you ever propose to your man, or do you feel the same as I do? Will you be popping the big question on Wednesday?!