A candid tale of 20-something humanness and extended note to self.

Sunday, 10 June 2012

The tale of Mr Unrequited...


Once upon a time, I referred to Mr Unrequited and I as kindred spirits, and on the first night we met, somewhere in the middle of a sausage and bbq sauce filled trip to stay with one of my best friends at uni almost two years ago, we sat up until sunrise chinwagging away like we'd known each other for a million years. I have never had such an instant, powerful chemistry with anybody, and I have never met a man quite like him.

He's creative, he's charming, he's funny, he's the perfect blend of sarcastic and serious, he's ridiculously intelligent and ambitious (major turn on), and not to mention deliciously attractive. And hairy faced. I love me the bearded men. We stayed in touch, and he quickly went on to become one of my most favourite human beings that has ever walked the earth, sandwiched somewhere between Oscar Wilde and Sherlock Holmes. Oh Sherlock, you fine creation, you.

Despite my evident admiration for the man in question, with 71 miles between us and two very separate lives, a future was never really an option. We were just two human beings, with a half-romantic friendship, who occasionally had some kind of perfect rendezvous, before returning to normal life. I didn't expect myself to be as upset as I was when I read the message that I received from him a couple of weeks ago, telling me that his feelings had changed, and that he didn't perhaps see enough between us to make the extra effort anymore. Eeeeeouuuuuchhh. I didn't expect that I would turn off Made in Chelsea (I'm a closet addict...) and blub like a 14 year old for a good 7 and a half  minutes. Double eeeeeouuuuuuuchhhhh and awkward face.

Clearly, I got a little too used to him and how things were, and judging by the awkward blubbing, I took to that 'end of an era' feeling like a duck to quicksand. Not ideal. I was also probably guilty of thinking that some day, Em and Dex stylie, this fine and wonderful chemistry might evolve into something a little more consistent. Note to self: refrain from assuming that I am the main character of a best selling novel.

It's common knowledge amongst us humanfolk that unrequited feelings are a bastard and a half. Unrequited feelings that used to be requited, are a little trickier to navigate. Granted, he probably didn't look at me and imagine a wrinkly, breasts-gone-south version of me sat next to him in the lounge, eating 26 jelly babies a minute and reminiscing about our youth (I'm going to be such a sexy OAP...), but he did used to like me, a little, I think. I hope. He used to want to see me whenever I was headed his way, he used to talk about taking me on adventures, and he used to kiss me with a certain level of mutual appreciation.

In the days that followed his email, I played far too much Coldplay, glanced mournfully at a lone pan au chocolat I found in the kitchen, (low moment...we feasted on these like hungry boars the last time I saw him), and beat myself up about the whole situation, wondering what the devil I did so wrong. Was it my expanding waistline?! My awful sense of humour?! Did I say something ridiculous? Bloody norah and crabsticks, was he lying when he said I don't look like Hagrid?

Luckily, prolonged contemplation is my middle name, and I know now that all initial hysteria was just a result of the unexpectedness of his email, combined with the whisky consumption. Woops. Fair enough, he probably was lying when he said I don't look like Hagrid (have you seen the mass of frizz on my head?!), but the man doesn't hate me. His email was in no way an outburst of rage and disgust. In fact, he told me I'm wonderful (take note!), cracked a joke about me ringing him during the footie, and asked about seeing each other over summer, though apparently I skirted over the nice parts of his message whilst in the midst of my typically female, (and very temporary, may I add) 'oh gosh, this is so complicated and awful' emotional breakdown.

In the grand scheme of things, it isn't a complicated situation at all. If anything, it's perfectly uncomplicated. I didn't do anything wrong, and neither did he. People change, feelings change, and paths change, unexpectedly, unexplainably. That folks, is how the world works, and that folks, is why life is such a beautiful and exciting adventure. Violins, please?!

Don't get me wrong, I will always value him for the way that he captured my heart and imagination, for how he's made me feel like I can achieve the things I so desperately want to, for being so polite and charming and willing to listen, for having such an intellectual and interesting mind, for bringing me fulfilling conversation, for fiercely believing in me, for making his face all hairy and handsome looking, for inspiring some of the best things I've ever written, for how we've laid, in silence, for a whole afternoon and had the loveliest time ever, for how he's drunk the last few sips of my wine when he's realised I've been a little too merry, for not laughing at my awful guitar skills, for not ever standing me up at the station, and for making me chuckle with his hideous, lawn-mower shaped dance moves.

It's been beautiful and wildly fun, and I am so, so grateful that I met him, and for everything that's ever happened between us. But I'm excited in the knowledge that Granny B is right. I'm 20 bloody years old. I have a lot of living to do, and a lot to learn about living. Some day, I will feel those feelings for someone again, and some day, Mr Unrequited will meet a lovely girl that won't ring him during the footie.

Whilst I might occasionally look at his delicious face for a little longer than I should, I'm confident that my donkey days of blubbing like a 14 year old for 7 and a half seconds, and glancing mournfully at the bakery's finest goods (pan au chocolovveeeee you) are long gone, and I'm looking forward to just being his friend. Friendship is effortlessly simple. Panicking in train stations about whether I smell of cheese sandwiches prior to his arrival isn't.

He also gets out of kissing Hagrid. Let's all breathe a sigh of relief on his part, please.


I hope you lovely lot are okay! Is there a Mr Unrequited in your life? I like cheese sandwiches. Would you like to make me one?


xXx














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16 comments

  1. What a pranny!! That is all I can say! If he doesn't sweep you off your feet he is a total idiot! I'm sorry you had to go through that horrible thud, but you are obviously getting through it bit by bit. I'll happily make you a cheese sandwich anyday and I'm sure you don't look like Hagrid and even if you do it's a very very sexy one! And remember we all love love LOVE YOU! Especially me, your number one fan babes!!!! XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Aww bless you, thank you lovely, and yup, I'm fine!! Misery was very temporary, I have nothing to be sad about! He's not an idiot- he really is a wonderful person!

      I shall look forward to that cheese sandwich. If you put onion relish in it too, I shall love you forever!! ;) Haha aww, you're such a sweetheart! Thank you xXx

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  2. THANK YOU for your lovely comments- made my day with your hilarious writing! (Yes yes dinosaurs are cute, especially T-Rex!)

    Oh gosh that is one amazing post! It seems like he does like you, appreciate you, admire you and whatnot but something is stopping him, for instance- the distance. Well if he is just that into you, he will just grab you no matter what. I adore how you are positive about it. It is important to be not bitter about past relationships and instead of grudging, appreciate the memories you had with him and see it as a life lesson.

    Hope I am talking sense hehe!

    I've had many unrequited loves in the past and all were terrible and heart breaking. Like you, I stay postive and move on. Go go girl! xo

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    1. You are SO very welcome! Dinosaur appreciation society?! I'll be seeing you there! ;)

      Aw, thank you! Who knows, I think, for some wild reason, he did, once upon a time. Clearly in recent days he's just realised that I'm very peculiar! And irritating...! Haha I don't know, but I do know that you are very right! It's exciting, and it's been great, and I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason! (aka Ryan Reynolds is about to tweet me asking for my number, I can feel it....)

      Wahooooo! xXx

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  3. There has been a Mr Unrequited in my life. A few, actually. And just as for Katrina, it all went terribly wrong.

    But anyway, I'm glad you're fine! And I'd definitely make you a cheese sandwich, WITH onion relish.

    PS: how did it all go with Mr Sky? Xx

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    1. Thank you very much my lady! On receipt of said cheese sandwich, I will kiss your cheek and honour you with eternal compliments!

      Mr Sky was a dish. It didn't really 'go' at all... He worked. I perved. It was delightful....

      xXx

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  4. Mr Unrequited is stupid for letting you slip by, enough said! Cheer up deary! :) Xx

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    1. Thank you Claire, that's lovely of you to say! Although, this is definitely debatable! It's probably the best decision he's ever made! I'm a liability, me ;) xXx

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  5. Your phraseology is the best. A duck in quicksand? Haha! Mr. Unrequited sounds like he is missing a pair of eyeballs... Why are the good ones ways oblivious??

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  6. He still sounds like the perfect gentleman, most men - sometimes there are the occasional lovely ones, you met one of them - are just complete idiots and you never hear from them again, let alone get a text to say things aren't working out but honesty is the best key,
    Your only 20 :) - i wish i could be that age again,
    For the record, you look nothing like hagrid for the record, your always looking beautiful.

    x x x

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    1. Yeah, he is. He's lovely, one of the loveliest men I've ever met! But yes, I am 20, and there are plenty more fish in the sea. And dolphins. And starfish. And crabs. Although I'm not sure I want me a crab...

      Bless you, thank you! :) xXx

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  7. It sounds like you managed to find one of those special men, those who only come around once every blue moon! It is his silly loss and my wonderful gain of your beauty :) xx

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    1. Yup, special is definitely one word I'd use! I kind of want to high five him for escaping my wrath. A wise decision I'd say....! But yes, now I can just harass you instead! ;) Xx

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  8. Aww Kathy B, this is so beautiful. As are you. I love how you've turned something that was quite upsetting for you into something positive that you can look back on. Your attitude towards life is simply amazing.

    Jen xx

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    1. Aw thank you Jen! What a lovely thing to say! :)

      xXx

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