(That's me, looking a bit baffled.)
I am an insatiably curious person. Oh yeah, I'm one curious cat. Or one curious Kath. By this, I mean I'm crazily interested in knowing stuff. I want to know everything; well, except for the things that I really have no interest in knowing of course. (I'm talking to you, Miss 'I'm-on-the-bus-surrounded-by-undeserving-strangers-but-I'm-still-going-to-yell-into-my-phone-to-my-boyfriend-about-how-much-I-miss-his-giant-throbbing...' SHHHHH, you filthy rogue. Have ye not heard of the grandeur of understated eroticism?!
Back at school I was the incredibly geeky child (oh yeah, I was rocking geek before it was fashionable) who always felt the need to ask 'why'. When I'm silver-haired and wrinkly, I hope to be the Grandma who can bore the wits out of my lovely Grandchildren with endless knowledge and hearty wisdom. Ultimately, I just want my brain to be crammed with juicy facts and ideas and creativity and anecdotes and opinions, and every single funky thing that I ever did learn. Some of it will be brilliant. Some of it will be marginally useful. Some of it will be absolutely bloody pointless. But I want it all.
As much as I pursue answers to my never-ending list of questions, there are some things that I will never understand. And even if they can be explained, I can't help but feel that some things are just so magnificent or clever or strange that definition is all a little restricting. Some things are just baffling. Today I thought I'd share these things with you.
Space. I am absolutely fascinated by space, particularly the night sky. In fact, there have been various occasions where I have actually stumbled into parked vehicles and bruised my planet-sized hips because I've been too engrossed in gawping up at it, blissfully caught up in this mad scattering of stars and planets and darkness and the unknown and natural epic. I have never seen anything more beautiful. My telescope is one of my most prized possessions, I often contemplate becoming an astronaut (a Kathsronaut, perhaps, winkety wink), and although we haven't necessarily found any proof that ET is up there, I can't think of anything more exciting than getting chummy with a real, stereotypical, green alien. My tiny mind is blown.
The joy of the Macarena. There are probably only a handful of people in this world who would put the words 'baffling' and 'Macarena' in the same sentence, but it appears that I am one of those awkward people. I have a lot of time for the Macarena. Yup, you can always count on me to get the moves right and stay in time at all times. LIFE SKILLS. The thing is folks, it's hardly a work of musical genius. It doesn't give me goosebumps or make me feel raw human emotion. The dance routine is shabby at best. It does however always manage to cheer me up, and I don't really understand why. But heyho, move with me, jam with me, and if you're good I'll take you home with me... (Unless you're good and you're Justin Bieber.)
That rare, invisible magnetism between two human beings. If you or I were to write a list of all of the qualities that we would want in a partner, I can guarantee that we will have already met so many people with all of those qualities, and yet will have felt nothing romantically significant. When two people do develop feelings for each other, or just feel an intense primal desire to get saucy, there's some kind of invisible magnetism that I think is rather magical. Those sciencey folk might tell me that it's to do with hormones and ovaries and my fertilisation preferences (I promise never to write a sex manual), but even if it is, isn't it just so bloody bizarre that we can feel so drawn to and connected with and captivated by the presence of another human being beyond our own personal expectation? I think it's beautiful, and feeling that inexplicable thing for someone is definitely one of the best feelings in the entire world. (Sneezing is a close second.) I'll put my violin away now.
Marmite. It's an unsexy colour. It's thick. It's gloopy. If it gets on your skin it's sticky and awkward and irritating. If it gets in your hair; blimey, you're screwed. It's yeast extract, which sounds about as gruelling and unexciting as a date with a mouldy quiche. But although the odds are stacked against it, it is the most DElicious thing that has ever crossed my lips. How can something that should be so awful be so marvellous?! It takes a mediocre buttered toast breakfast and turns it into the best breakfast you ever had, even though you ate it yesterday, and the day before that. And the day before that. My mate marmite; I love you, you yeasty little minx.
John Green's way with words. If you don't know who John Green is, and you're into those super creative, 'wordy' types, I insist you educate yourselves at once. John Green is my idol. I am as in love as is humanely possible without actually meeting somebody. The way in which he puts words together is extraordinary. Every single book of his is tonic for the idle mind; an intellectual, philosophical, witty explosion of near-geniusness and lasting sentiment. His books have made me feel things that I never thought could be felt as a result of the printed word alone. WOAH. If I ever become half the novelist that he is, I will be damn happy.
The things that we are capable of doing in our sleep. A few nights ago, something bizarre happened. I had a horrendously filthy dream about my GCSE Maths teacher. It was like fifty shades of grey but with protractors and Pythagoras. Yup, thanks brain, thanks so much for the trauma, you kind and generous organ. To make the whole experience that little more concerning, I woke up to find my phone next to me in the bed with the calculator open. It's half sickening and half bonkers. I mean, how?! How did I do that?! Why would I do that? What on earth happened in my room that night?!
The mysterious ways of the world. I'm not a religious person, but I am a lover of philosophy and a keen contemplator of the universe. I'm certain that I will never decide what I believe about life in terms of whether there's some great meaning behind it all, or whether it's just an erratic sequence of blind inconsequence. I guess the way I feel about it alternates dependent on the things that are happening in my own life and the things that I see going on around me. Either way, there's no denying that sometimes it feels like the world is working in mysterious ways; that perhaps things we may not understand at the time are happening, or have happened, for a reason that will become valuable and useful to us. Spooky.
You. You're reading my blog. I find this exceptionally baffling. Are you okay? Do you require medical attention? It is remarkable that anyone could be even slightly interested in my extreme waffle, and to get to the end of the post?! Wow. That is some stamina you have yourself there. Muchos gracias, you delightful human.
So there we have it folks; just a small sample of the many things that astound me. I think it's always good to be astounded by things; how boring would life be if we had nothing to gawp at or debate or be chronically confused by?!
I would love to know what baffles you, whether it's something small and quirky like my adoration of marmite, or whether it's something big and epic and spooky. Leave your comments below, or get all twitterific on me over at @kathyb5710.