I have, however, become a mother to a furry little son. Yup, on Saturday 15th February 2014, my life changed. Family, chums, readers, fellow humans alike; allow me to introduce you to Frederick Albus. I know, 'cracking name', I hear you. Have you noted the literary, wizardly connotations? Do you think it's the most awesome dog name in the whole wide world? (Don't answer that.) Shall we all just call him Fred/Freddie for short? Yes, okay, let's do that.
There are cat people and dog people in this world. According to the wave of great uneasiness that I feel when a cat so much as darts a sultry glance in my direction, it's safe to say that I've always been a 'doggy person'. I've always had strong faith in the power of canine companionship and I can't imagine a life without it. When we lost our family dog Annie before Christmas, I could do nothing but drink cheap wine and weep (and I mean tears-snot-boo-hoo-I'm-a-drunk-sad-raving-mess weep) for an entire week. I was absolutely heartbroken, but having had the opportunity to reflect on just how extraordinary every moment with Annie had been, I knew then more than ever that I wanted my own dog.
And hurray, now I have him. I have a Freddie. He is an 8 week old Bichon Frise/Yorkshire Terrier cross. He is small and bear-like and chubby and funny and loud and irritating and awful and wonderful and disgracefully cute. After just 4 days together, I'm almost certain that he loves me more than anything else in this world has ever loved me. (I know, the boy has issues.) And despite the fact that I am covered in scratches and urine and wearing chewed shoes, and that I have forgotten what it feels to actually sleep of a night time, oh, sweet SLEEP, where art thou, and that I have asked myself at least twice-daily why the devil I ever thought this was a good idea, I am completely, head over heels in love with him, and I am so excited for the adventure ahead of us. Perhaps one day he'll even write his own feature on this blog. It will be pawfect. Chuckle, chuckle. (Do excuse me, I am exhausted and delirious.)
What do you think of Freddie? Do you think he's cute? When I sent a photo of him to a particularly brutal manfriend of mine, aka the world's worst local comedian, his response was, 'he looks like a scruffy, unappealing little shit. They do say dogs look like their owners lol.' I was all set to fight my corner, and then I remembered that I'm covered in scratches and urine and am wearing chewed shoes, and that my under-eye skin could be sold by Tesco to carry groceries, and that I haven't brushed my hair in 4 days. Oh, the joys of puppy parenthood. Perhaps, we'll save that debate for a different day.
Tweet me your puppy tips, pretty please, or if you want me to irritate you by posting a zillion photos of Freddie a week, you can also stalk us on Instagram. @kathyb5710