A Sussex based blogger sharing a candid tale of 20-something humanness

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

BUS- The Facts

The Symptoms

Some things in life are inevitable. Suffering a bout of break-up syndrome is definitely one of them, when you're a) female, b) female, and c) well, I think you get the idea. I'm not saying that my diagnosis is something that men are completely immune too, but there's definitely something about us women that seems to put us in the 'high risk' group of developing that massive, hormonal wobble that a break up brings to our lives. After all, you rarely hear your male friends complaining that they wolfed down three tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream and cried themselves to sleep after the breakdown of their relationship.

Most have us have suffered the symptoms; feeling miserable and alone, finding ourselves crying bitterly and hysterically over the blissfully happy couple that feature in this weeks 'Don't tell the bride', demolishing a weeks food shopping in an hour, writing/deleting/re-writing/saving potential texts to send to Mr Ex-Beloved, and not wanting to do anything that involves leaving our bedroom, unless of course, it's for another trip to the kitchen.

It's safe to say that break ups suck. Bigtime. Suddenly, you're stripped out of your comfort zone and tossed into a world of emotion, confusion, grief, bitterness and ice cream addiction. Trying to work out how to move forward turns into an Olympic event, and you endlessly declare that your life has fallen apart and that you will grow old with just a miserable, straggly furred cat named Morag for company.

But believe me, sweetheart, you won't. And while, with just one hideously painful break-up in tow, I'm no expert, I do now know what I should have done back then. And I do know, that if you're anything like me, and turn into England's answer to a modern Havisham (howling at the wall in a wedding dress),then you could definitely benefit from similar therapy.

The Treatment

Recovery begins with girly time. Spend as much time as you can with the girls (preferably the single ones...), and keep your social calendar as busy as it possibly could be. The first few weeks of BUS are the most critical, so while I perfectly condone spending a good few days crying under the duvet, feeling sorry for yourself, and eating an obscene amount of food, I wouldn't recommend letting the spell of misery last for much longer than that. Pull yourself together, throw on a half-decent outfit, and spend some quality time going out and about with the ladies. The edge will definitely wear off when you're all so gracefully ogling the local George Clooney lookalike that wanders into the same bar. 

And as hard as it is to stop, cyber stalking is not wise. Every innocent girl that posts on his Facebook page will suddenly become the spawn of satan, when in fact, she's just as likely to be his friend from work, or his twice removed cousin. If you've got the guts to do it, delete him. The psycho ex look isn't a pretty one, and it might just save your sanity!

Finally, try not to lose sight of why you broke up in the first place. Either way, someone in the duo wasn't happy, and while that might seem completely ridiculous/unbelievable/heartbreaking, it's got to count for something. Busy yourself with future plans, focus on the other fantastic things in your life, flirt and enjoy your freedom, never stop being optimistic, and enjoy being the young, beautiful, independent Goddess that you most probably are! 

Remember, alongside the other things in life that make you tick, the world is full of 6 billion odd more chances of happiness. You'll even find two of them in the freezer.

Peace :) x


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